Witizens of Wirtland (Archive!)

 This blog is to express my ideas on the following questions:

1) how to create economy of Wirtland (mainly the services sector)?

2) how to attract new citizens (active citizens)?

3) How to create a platform for meetings of citizens in the real world?
  В  блоге  буду излагать свои идеи по следующим вопросам: 

1)как можно создать экономику Wirtland (делая упор на секторе услуг)

2) как можно привлечь новых граждан (граждан не номинальных, а активных)

3) О необходимости и способах создания связи Wirtland с реальным миром, с целью сближения и живого общения граждан (скорее всего через аренду либо покупку помещения. )

Let a good impression.

Didn’t Rafael Nadal do well on his visit to Thailand recently “? No, I’m not talking about the world number one tennis player’s performance on court at PTT Thailand Open 2010 in Hua Hin, where he was dumped out in the semi-finals earlier this month. Rather, what was most impressive about Nadal is the attention he received from Thai people during his two weeks here.

The 24-year-old Majorcan created a buzz when he arrived at the airport, gave alms to a monk and planted a tree in honour of his Majesty the King. Future foreign celebrity visitors to the kingdom should take note of Raf’s behaviour. Despite the language barrier, it is not as hard as you might imagine to accomplish whatever you intended to do in Thailand while leaving a lasting good impression. You already have one leg up for being foreign. Doing simple Thai things that otherwise don’t raise an eyebrow, will you make irresistible to the people.

WEAR MALAI

Malai are a gift you are supposed to receive with a big smile. A lovely ring of flowers will be presented to you upon touchdown at Suvarnabhumi as a sign you are a special guest. It should rest graciously around your neck, wrist or arm. If you happen to be allergic to roses, orchids, bachelor’s button or white champaka, please contact your PR team at this end to arrange alternatives, Make sure you have enough room on your upper body for the malai. The more of the you wear, the more they will love you.

Note : Take it off, you are being too Thai for them.  

An ideal way of greeting someone in Thailand consists of three parts - a “wai”, a smile and a phrase. First, put your hands together in a prayer position on your chest. Say “sawadee krap (khap)” as you beam and bow.

Note : Please don’t “wai” your waitress, tuk-tuk drivers or go-go dancers.

SPEAK THAI

Mastering key phrases will go a long way for you here. The language is super complicated in line with their cleverness, with 44 letters of the alphabet including 32 vowels and 5 tones. You don’t need to know all the nuances of the language, however. Stick to crowd-pleasers like “Piew khun sauy jang. Me luk duay kan kong n arak” (Oooh,  you have lovely dark skin. I think we could make beautiful babies together) or “Kin ahan pet dai jing jing!” (Yes, I really can eat spicy food). However, if your target group is the female population, try “Pooying Thai suay mak”. The girls will blush, scream and swoon, because you just said that they are very unlucky. Don’t worry though, they will still reply with : “Me love yooouuuuuu”.

Note : Mixing Thai with English buzzwords in the same sentence is way cooler than only speaking Thai and avoid to rap their language.

HAVE THAI BLOOD

Being half, quarter or even just a teensy-weensy-itty-little-bit part, Thai automatically grants you the love of Thai people - especially when your are a famous. You are one of them and so they will force - feed you their admiration like a doting Thai mother in her kitchen, even if you have never set foot in Thailand. Just look a Tiger Woods. The golfer’s mother is Thai, which was enough to secure him an honorary doctorate in spots science from Kasetsart University in 2000 - even though he turned down the Thai citizenship in the same year.

Nota : If you are not genetically gifted, visit Thailand often, adopt Buddhism as your religion and then tell them you were Thai in a previous life.

BOX FOR SHOW

This is a must for any wannabe hero or testerone-boy. Your popularity with the female audience will through the roof if you are practicing the upper-macho art of Muay Thai. On the other hand, you will also earn some respect from the fellas as well.

Note : Muay Thai is a violent sport in which men from poor backgrounds abuse their bodies to make a living. Don’t agree to get in the ring with that supposedly scrawny Thai midget for real - elbows and knees really hurt.

GIVE ALMS TO MONKS

Giving alms to monks is one of many ways Buddhists make merit. If you are here to make money or just to get noticed, it might not hurt to “tam boon” and get your photo in a newspaper.

Note : When you give alms to monks, try not to think about all the bad news you have heard about them in the media.

ENJOY A THAI MASSAGE

Take a break from your exhausting schedule and get some pres coverage at the same time by enjoying a relaxing Thai massage. No Hugh Grant, I am not talking about “happy endings” you naughty devil, but traditional Thai massage at a respectable establishment where the masseuses know what they are doing and take their dexterity. Leonardo Di Caprio had a Thai massage on Koh Phi Phi when he took a break from filming “The Beach” in 1999. The event received so much publicity that the poor masseuse had to go into hiding to avoid the attention of the local press.

Note : Please be aware that some masseuses (especially in Ratchada) may touch you inappropriately and expect a big tip, they probably thinks you expect it.

GET A TATTOO

Traditional Thai “sak yant” tattoos are believed to possess occult powers which could be handy when you are going head-to-head with a powerful Scientologist like Tom Cruise for a role in a blockbuster movie. Just look at Angelina Jolie : She got a “ha taew” tattoo from Ajarn Noo.

Note : Many of you still thinks tattoos are associated with prisoners, criminals and low-life. Check twice that the Thai letters you want inscribed down your leg really say what they are supposed to before you let someone lose on your skin with bamboo and ink.

Money and Love

Whenever I am having workouts with my married mates, there is this topic about their wives and most of the time it is about money problems with their spouse.

Women in Asia have this attitude about "Your money is my money - my money is MY money". And it is a sad way of life from where I see it and most keep mum about it just to not stir any problems or arguments. Most do not have joint accounts and have no idea how much cash their wife has stashed away.

Once a friend of mine asked his wife to pay for an electricity bill which came to about 1,200 baht (30 Euro) I think - he was merely asking her to chip in since she was working and earning a pretty good salary & he was already paying for EVERYTHING but she refused! Reason given : she has to send money to her familiy…blah blah blah...

I always thought that it was women here in my part of the world that has this attitude but when my neighbour said that is a Thai's attitude - I began to evaluate my Belle.

I have always been the sole bread winner of my relationship - so it is only fair for me to pay for everything and had no qualms on that. We have a joint account here so that she has whatever I had inside to go shopping, emergencies, etc.

So in a way I am glad that I am not in that situation that my future wife is working and knowing that she wouldn't chip in for the household expenses or will we have arguments about money.

Why do Asian women have this kind of attitude? After little analysis - I think they are afraid. Afraid that their husband will leave them for another love or debts, mortgages, child care and they have to fend for themselves.

Marriage is a union of individuals - and as married couples risks exists and these kinds of attitudes should never exist. As a future husband and I speak for men out there that what we want is for the best interest of our wife. If we were to leave for another world, I am sure the woman and children in our life’s best interest would have been planned for or taken care off.   

So stop hiding your stash and show us the money!

I have a feeling I am going to get a beating for posting this posting.

In Germany, advocacy groups intensifying their fight against the massive use of English and “Denglish” a hybrid of the two languages - and called on Germans to find an alternative for the English term “Ruckizuckifutti”. The word “Ruckizuckifutti” is not only a mouthful - it doesn’t evoke a sense of American lifestyle like its English equivalent “fast food”, either.

Finding English difficult? Me too and I'll tell you why - it's because English is not really a language!

It is actually the accumulation of bits and pieces from many different languages; Celtic, Saxon, ancient Latin, antique French, old Danish, forgotten German, a bit of Dutch and many more. That is why the spelling looks like it was put together by a bunch of backpackers at a full moon rave party about 30 minutes after they ate those strange looking mushrooms.

English is not pretty. Some languages have National Language Departments and ‘word police’ to keep them pure like a pampered pedigree Poodle or a sweet Shi-Tzu show dog sitting on a sofa.  English, on the other hand, is a scarred mongrel street dog left to roam the streets at night, devouring scraps of words or phrases left behind by others. If it comes across any other language it will fight it, feed on it or breed with it.  It is tough, old and ugly. And it is getting bigger every year (20,000 words bigger).

Charles Darwin’s theory had nothing to do with the survival of the prettiest. He said it was the fittest and most adaptable that prevailed.  English is taking over the world like street dogs take over the streets at night.

It is just a matter of time before we will all be howling at the moon.

Eat

Stick-thin ladies walk down the street with clothes hanging down their bodies. Protruding rib cages create disturbing lines on tight T-shirts. Chicken legs look as though they could snap like a bamboo toothpick. Collar bones and pointy shoulders look disconnected from heads that appear to be somewhat blown up against their physique.

Meet the hot young ladies from the Land of Smiles.

While the rest of the world aspires to be Sumos, young Bangkokians are trying to keep the weight of the world in balance so that we won’t crash into other planets or so I want to believe, because it’s sick that they would do that for their body image. I can only wonder where this self-torture that is becoming a way of conformity originated.

Obviously, one of the reasons they are resorting to starvation is because they want to keep their shape without exercising. Eventually, pregnancy comes and without knowing how to enjoy exercice the hot young ladies of Thailand become fat moms who turn to rip-off companies or worse, liposuction. But I am getting a little bit carried away here. Perhaps what we need is to learn how to appreciate curvy bodies better. There are ways too many movies celebs that are so thin and they make their female followers feel overweight when they are actually not. Clothes sold in markets and boutiques truly reflect how small girls are becoming. Skinny jeans here should be called anorexic jeans.

Thailand is no longer the Land of Smiles. The country is becoming the Land of Skinny Ladies. Young Thai female homo sapiens are evolving into a new line of clothes hangers.

Live is short - Eat.